


200km/h in a wrong lane

by ceoseungri



Category: Block B
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:23:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8434990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceoseungri/pseuds/ceoseungri
Summary: losing someone you love is one of the hardest thing that will happen during a lifetime. it determines how strong you are.woo jiho never knew about it until it happened.





	

_Beautiful_ _._

_That was what Woo Jiho thought as he peeked from the door crack and saw the other rapper of his group dancing in the middle of the dim lighted room. Park Kyung was so fully into practicing that he didn't even notice someone was staring at him. He had stayed there after their regular practice was over because there was one point in NalinA dance choreography he just couldn't get right. Jiho had scolded him about it. Kyung usually wasn't all that bad at dancing but this time it just wouldn't go the way it was supposed to._

_The parquet was wet from some parts because of all the sweat so Park Kyung's shoes let out squeaking sounds as he turned around. The mirror was foggy and he could only see a blurry image of himself but that was enough for him to tell when he had done something incorrectly._

_The song ended and Park Kyung collapsed to the floor. He laid on his back and spread his arms and legs wide. He closed his eyes and his chest rose when he breathed heavily. He wiped sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand. Then he heard someone approaching._

_"You are practicing way too hard," Woo Jiho said when he came to sit next to Park Kyung who didn't even open his eyes because of course he knew who it was._

_"I need to perfect it before the stage tomorrow," Kyung said and sat up so he was in the same level with Jiho. He raised his knees up and rested his elbows on them._

_Jiho sighed. He regretted scolding Kyung so much because he knew Kyung had a low self esteem and he took things to himself often way too seriously. "It is already as close to perfection as it can ever be."_

_Kyung just shook his head._

_"Let's go back to the dorms. You need sleep for tomorrow," Jiho put his hand around Park Kyung's shoulders. He really cared deeply about the guy. As a leader, he cared about all of his members, they were his best friends but with Kyung it was different. They had been together for the longest, they were more than best friends._

_"Just let me do it one more time."_

_"No. You have already overworked yourself," Jiho saw the upset in his eyes but he wanted to keep his mind because he knew he could get Kyung to do what he asked to. "Alright," he gave up anyways because it would be better if Kyung was confident with his dance._

_"Thanks," he sniffled. Jiho stood up and then offered his hand to Kyung to help him stand up too._

_"I will wait for you in the dorms," Jiho said without yet letting go of Kyung's hand. Then he kissed his cheek._

_"Thanks," Kyung forced a smile and followed as Jiho walked to the computer to replay the song. As it played again, Kyung started dancing with his last powers and Jiho walked out of the practice room._

-

Woo Jiho's eyes were glossy as he thought about that precious memory. It had been three years and ten months since that. Three years and ten months since his and Kyung's relationship had started growing from being best friends to something bigger.

It had meant a lot for both of them at that time and it still did. Jiho had never been good at expressing his feelings like that but somehow vulnerable Kyung had helped him to let them out. They had both been young back then and it had been completely different. Their feelings for each other had been deep but they were afraid.

The light changed from red to green and Woo Jiho's expensive sports car leaper forward much faster than the car that had been behind him while waiting on the stoplight. It was now far away but Jiho was only glad about it.

It was a night so there were almost no traffic. Only broken Woo Jiho going over the speed limit. He tried to get his mind back to happy thoughts.

-

_Summer was ending in the year 2014. They were on the backstage, celebrating their first win with HER. Their performance was coming from the monitor but only Woo Jiho was interested in it at that point. They had worked extra hard for this comeback and the leader understood them being hyped up about winning. He was happy himself too but something seemed to be wrong as he looked at their performance._

_"Don't be so stiff and start changing," Kyung came from behind and put his arms around Jiho's chest. "Taeil promised soju and beer if we win the first place."_

_"I'm coming," Jiho turned the monitor off and walked to where Jaehyo was to change his clothes so they could leave. Pyo Jihoon and Yukwon were fooling around with their trophy as they were waiting for the others to get ready. They were acting like boys but that was usual for everyone after they had been together for a long time._

_Park Kyung was the one who left behind and waited for Jiho while everyone else already went ahead._

_"Go ahead," Jiho said when he started to put his shoes on._

_Kyung just shook his head. "No. I'm waiting for you," he said determinedly. Jiho and him were the same age but Jiho usually had the big brother vibe, maybe because he was the leader. Kyung still always kept his mind around Jiho. He never let Jiho boss him around, at least not too much._

_"Why? Just go with the others. I will catch you later," Jiho tried to gesture him to leave but Park Kyung knew he was only doing it to be nice. He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms._

_"Someone has to stay beside you too," he said and even though Woo Jiho didn't even raise his head to show any reaction to that sentence, Park Kyung still noticed that he was smiling._

_Kyung felt like he was taking extra long time on purpose while tying his laces and he knew Jiho did it just to annoy him. Then Jiho stood up and started putting his jacket on, not showing any expression at all but silently wondering in his mind if Park Kyung was getting irritated already._

_"Are you done?" Kyung asked and opened the door of their backstage room so they could leave. He raised his eyebrows to Jiho who was still making himself busy somehow._

_"Yep," Jiho then said, winked his eye to annoyed-looking Kyung and walked outside first from the door he was holding open._

_They walked to the really good barbecue place that was close by. The others were already there and had reserved a private table for the seven of them plus their manager. Taeil, who was the one paying for all this fun, had started to grill the meat._

_"Smells great," Jiho said when he sat down to the empty seat next to Minhyuk. Kyung came to the other side of him._

_"Oh, you came already," Jaehyo looked surprised. He took the bottle of soju and was about to start pouring it to their glasses when Kyung stopped him._

_"I got this," he said and took the bottle from Jaehyo. "I'm the best when it comes to mixing soju and beer."_

_Jiho laughed at this but didn't make any remark like he was about to and just followed what Kyung did. After their glasses were filled with alcohol, Jiho raised his up._

_"To HER first win," he said. The others raised their already half-empty glasses too and then there were sounds of glass hitting glass. Kyung and Jiho looked at each other in the eyes when they drowned the liquid down their throats._

_They had a good time, celebrating their win together, eating and drinking in that windy evening. No one had any worries or even if someone did, all problems were vanished when they got drunk enough._

_Minhyuk, Jaehyo and Yukwon were the first ones to leave back home to their shared dorm. They weren't even that drunk but the manager still made them take a cab so nothing would happen. They were quite popular after all and being on the streets late at night was never good in under any circumstances. Half an hour later Taeil paid their bill and dragged Jihoon out with him._

_"Take a cab home, right?" their manager asked when he was about to make his way out too. Jiho assured him that they would and soon he was left alone with Kyung. It became quiet as soon as the manager walked out. There was some really awkward, unknown tension between the two of them. Usually they were open with each other but now something different was up._

_"Is something wrong?" Woo Jiho, the leader who always worried so much, was the first one to ask about it. Of course, he wouldn't have needed to ask, he knew Park Kyung well enough to tell his mood by one simple movement of an eyebrow._

_"I feel weird," Kyung confessed, rolling the glass around in his hands. Leader was usually the only one in the group to whom he could talk about whatever he was feeling._

_"That makes two of us," Jiho sighed and poured just small sips of soju to both of their glasses. Kyung took his own and made it disappear with just one gulp._

_After that they were too drunk and there was too much tension between them so what happened, just happened. Jiho had been the one to lean in first and Park Kyung's eyes had widened in surprise when he had realized that Jiho was kissing him. I had taken his drunk brain a while to process what was happening but when he it had, he opened his mouth and started to kiss the guy back._

-

There had been some unsolved tension between them for years but that was when all pieces got locked together. Their first kiss. After that one late night in the practice room, their forsaken feelings for each other had just got deeper and deeper until that another late night two years later when it all came down and he had kissed rosy cheeked, drunk Park Kyung.

That had been another important memory in the lives of the two of them. The changing point of their relationship.

Jiho didn't let a tear escape from his eye and tried to hold his feelings in. He looked out of his car window and saw the beautiful Han river reflecting the picture of a dark night sky as he drove along the big bridge. He knew that soon he would break down because the more he thought about the memory of Park Kyung, the closer he became to not being able to hold it in anymore.

Jiho came to an intersection where if he had turned right, he would have been on his way to home, his and Kyung's shared apartment where they lived their lives together, made love for the first time and lots of other memories. He couldn't turn right and found himself going straight instead. It would have been too much for him to go to that empty apartment. A house is not a home when your loved one is gone.

-

_Only a year after things were completely different. Kyung was at their apartment where he and Jiho lived instead of the dorm now when there was no comeback coming for the group any time soon. He waited for his boyfriend to come home like a mother waiting for his child to come to eat dinner. The only thing was that the child was already a young adult and therefor was never home. The mother was sad._

_Recently, Jiho had been gaining even more popularity than before. He was working for a solo album so he was busy all the time. Of course Kyung appreciated that he was working hard but that had caused them to be drawn apart from each other. Usually Kyung was asleep when Jiho came home and on the mornings they only saw each other for a second._

_Kyung had something important to tell Jiho but there was never right time for that. He decided to leave it be and let Jiho focus on his album. Work was the most important thing in Jiho's life and Kyung knew it well._

_He hung out with the other members who just like him didn't have that much scheduled things to do. He told to Minhyuk about his important matter._

_"You should really tell Jiho," Minhyuk said after recovering from the shocking news he had just received._

_"I can't until the album is done," Kyung looked down on his hands and played with his fingers. Minhyuk didn't say anything because Kyung got the point. It could wait until Gallery was out. Maybe things would have changed before that. It was no use disturbing Jiho's important work with something superfluous._

_Much like every other night, Kyung wasn't awake when Jiho came home that night. He had fallen asleep on the couch with a television on in front of him. He had been watching some old showcases of them._

_"Oh, you're still awake," Jiho called and started walking to Kyung but then noticed that he had his eyes closed and was breathing deeply because he was sleeping. He tiptoed closer and turned the television off. Then he leaned down next to Kyung. Every night he watched as Kyung slept, looking so peaceful and hoped that he could be home more so they would be able to express their love like they used to. It didn't exactly feel like the spark between them had died, that would never happen. Jiho was just too busy and that had caused them to get distant._

_He ran his hand through Kyung's hair and moved it off his forehead. He had loved Park Kyung for a long time but he could still never get over how beautiful he looked when he was sleeping._ _He looked beautiful whatever he did._

_Jiho put his other hand under Kyung's knees and another around his shoulders. Then he picked him up from the couch. Kyung was really light and Jiho wondered if he ate well. He still worried for him as much as he used to, maybe even more. He looked down on Kyung's face pressed against his chest and then carried the small man to the bedroom._

_"Is it morning already?" he heard a small, sleepy mutter just as he was putting a blanket on top of Kyung._

_"No," he whispered quietly. "It's midnight. Sleep."_

_"Alright," Kyung pulled the blanket better on top of himself. He was half-asleep the whole time. He was really tired._

_Jiho thought for a second and then he leaned down again. He pressed a kiss on Kyung's hair. "Sleep well. I love you."_

-

The pain was eating Woo Jiho alive. Tears were now streaming out of his eyes without stopping and his vision was blurry. He had finally exploded and he couldn't control himself anymore. He wasn't even trying to hold his sobs in because seeing Kyung's face in his mind was all just too much.

He blamed himself too much. He had been busy and ignorant when Kyung had had hard time. He knew there was nothing he could have done but if he had just been there, everything would have been easier to Kyung.

Jiho wished that he would have noticed or that someone would have told him.

He didn't even notice when the car started going faster and his grip on the steering wheel tightened.

-

_Jiho came home after five. It was the first time in months when he was early so he brought fried chicken with him. He wanted to celebrate with Kyung because his album would be out in a day._

_"Kyung?" he called out and waited a second for a reply. "Are you home?"_

_Jiho walked to the living room to check if Kyung was there, then he went to the bedroom just in case Kyung happened to be taking a nap. There was no sign of the guy. Then the walked towards the bathroom and getting a bit anxious already, he opened the door. He wasn't there. Jiho quickly took his phone and called him._

_He started getting worried when his call went to the voicemail. Kyung never left home without texting Jiho and telling that he would be out. Even when he knew that Jiho wouldn't be home, he still never forgot to tell him where he was going. That was what made Jiho feel like something was wrong. He called Yukwon._

_"Don't worry," Yukwon stuttered after Jiho had asked if he knew where Park Kyung was. From the tone of his voice Jiho knew that something was really wrong._

_"Where the fuck is he?" he had lost his chill immediately and Yukwon jumped because he got startled._

_"He is in a surgery."_

_Jiho arrived to the hospital after fifteen minutes. He saw everyone else sitting in the waiting area. He felt betrayed. No one had told him that his boyfriend was in a surgery. When he arrived, he was furious with anger and when Pyo Jihoon turned to see him coming, he knew it wouldn't go by well._

_Lee Taeil stood up, ready to try and make Jiho calm down if he had to. He probably wouldn't understand the reason why no one had told him._

_"What is this?" Jiho asked with a loud voice. The other five boys were quiet. They all looked down. "Why is Kyung in a surgery?" he turned to Taeil who was standing in front of him._

_"It's cancer," Taeil confessed quietly._

_"What?"_

_"Sit down first," he put his hand on Jiho's shoulder and made him sit down next to Jaehyo. "And calm down."_

_"Why are you telling me to calm down? My boyfriend is in a fucking surgery because he has cancer and none of you bothered to tell me!" Jiho started yelling and was about to stand up right away but Taeil wouldn't let him._

_"Kyung wanted us not to tell you," Yukwon said with a low voice. Jiho didn't look at him. He was mad at all of them._

_"He got the diagnosis few months ago but wanted to keep it from you so you could focus on your album," Taeil explained. Jiho couldn't understand why people thought he was selfish enough to put his work before the people he loved. Of course music was important to him but Park Kyung was even more._

_"He said he would get the surgery after your album has been out for a while," Minhyuk said next. Jiho was looking down like everyone else. "But then today it suddenly got really bad and he had to get the surgery immediately."_

_"What cancer is it?" he asked with an unstable voice after a while of processing._

_"It's a pancreatic cancer."_

_"Will he survive?" Jiho asked another question. He knew about pancreatic cancer. It was what had caused the death of his aunt five years back. It was indeed a cancer that could get very serious in a short time. Without a surgery, staying alive was almost out of question and even if you got surgery, you were lucky if you survived. He had hope. Kyung was getting his surgery now and after that he would get better and Jiho would never leave his side._

_"He will," Taeil assured. He shouldn't have said that._

_They were all sitting quietly in the waiting room when the doctor came. Jiho stood up faster than a lighting and greeted him. They had waited for so long and Jiho had had time to do so much overthinking during that. From the doctor's expression they knew that it couldn't be any good news._

_"Is one of you Park Kyung's guardian?" the doctor asked._

_"I am," Jiho answered._

_They all reacted a bit differently to what the doctor told them. Jihoon started crying like a baby, Taeil had tears streaming out from his eyes as well but he looked more emotionless, Minhyuk's knees failed him and he dropped to the ground. Yukwon turned to hug Jaehyo who was next to him. And Jiho just stood in front of the doctor, not believing what he had heard. He thought that there was no way Kyung 'didn't make it' like the doctor said._

_"Things like this happen sometimes on the operating table," the doctor tried to explain but he wasn't being empathetic at all._

_Taeil stood up wiped his tears away quickly. He was afraid that Jiho would blow up and he was ready to hold him back. The doctor realized it was his time to leave._

_Jiho turned to Taeil who was standing behind him. He looked blank as if there was nothing inside of him, like his soul had already left his body. The stare on his eyes didn't have any emotion. It made Taeil worry. Jiho never expressed his feelings much but now they all sensed that something was about to happen. Then Jiho ran._

_All five of them yelled after him, telling him to stop but he didn't. He couldn't have stopped himself even if he wanted to. Minhyuk tried to run after him but he was already out._

_Jiho took his car and started driving without destination._

-

All the happy memories Jiho had of Kyung led to that moment. Just that same morning he had seen Kyung smiling at him, telling him to have a good day and Jiho hadn't had enough time to say that he loves him because he had left in a rush. Only a bit more than twelve hours later the doctor said Park Kyung had passed away because of some problems during the surgery.

Jiho wished he would have known Kyung was sick and it only made him cry harder when he thought about Kyung keeping all that pain inside him alone.

Lights of the car coming closer were flashing in Jiho's eyes and he heard a long honk but didn't react. It was the first and last time he was driving that fast with his sports car. He was going almost twice the speed limit but he didn't even realize. Two hundred kilometers per hour in the oncoming lane.

The car coming towards him drove off the road but the other one coming straight behind it was not as lucky.

Last thing Jiho saw in his mind before crashing against the car with full force was Kyung's first 'I love you' to him. He didn't have a seat belt on so the impact of the crash caused him to fly out of the windshield.

The other car caught fire and the flame illustrated the face of Woo Jiho, laying on the hood of his car with a lifeless look in his teary eyes, glass and blood his face, the dark red substance dripping along his hand all the way to the fourth finger of the left hand that had a ring on it, his broken neck twisted in a weird position. He was dead.

Just like Park Kyung.


End file.
